Chiao. I'm Cait. 17. Filipino. Senior. Jacob ♥ Abu Dhabi, UAE. I miss home.
Facebook: /catfurtado
YouTube: /SeekingSoho
I’m gonna get through this without profanity..
I really hate the position I’m in. I try really hard to make things work but I can never know how they are going. Everything is so far from my viewfinder - I can only guess what’s going on. Often, I feel like that guess, no matter how educated, is way off base. But nevertheless, I never fail to keep trying. I put my all into the situation because it’s something I’m extremely happy to be a part of. Reason being, without trying, without chasing, I feel like I will lose everything I have… and I don’t want to lose it. Sometimes I see that effort put back, sometimes I don’t. That’s the thing, I guess. I just can’t see what’s going on. I can’t tell if you’re trying like I am. I don’t know if you’re scared to lose me or if it would hardly matter to you. I want to believe that you’re chasing me like I’m chasing you but that seems to good to be true. All I can do is hope. I really hope that this isn’t just a game. Because when it comes to word, it’s no game. I’ve meant every little thing since the beginning. And it will never lose meaning. Again, I hope it’s the same for you.Β
I just want to know things are working. Things are working.Β
All You ft. Waka Flocka Flame and Kaskade by The Cataracs
I’d just like to take the time out to say: you are dying. We are all dying. Some faster than others. But, dying nevertheless.Β
That shock factor was for the hope that you are doing something worth dying for. You never know when that something is the last thing you are going to do.
One of my favorite mashups.
Good Life & Midnight City
A lot of people rage about how long distance relationships just don’t work. That people will get caught up in their own world and totally forget about the other. That the basis of the relationship crumbles due to a lack of communication. That things just don’t work.Β I want to tell everybody: That’s false.Β
Let me tell you a little about me and Jacob. I had a crush on this kid ever since he walked on the bus my sophomore year. We didn’t talk often.. in fact, we didn’t talk at all. I rarely talked to anyone on the bus unless it involved STEM or how I hated some of the teachers at school. Late last school year, probably early-April , I gave him my phone number and the flirty text messages started. Everyday, I felt myself getting close to his sarcastic witty humor, his cute smile, his infectious laugh, and his awesome personality. That’s when I found out I was moving to Abu Dhabi. Everything we had, could’ve had, would’ve had, got put on hold.Β
Since July 7, 2011 until recently, Jacob and I didn’t talk much. For me, the hurt that he was over 7,000 miles away was too much. I didn’t want to know how he was doing. I didn’t want to hear how great life without me. How he might’ve found someone else. How things were different. But, I did want to talk to him. Every now and then, I’d catch up with him. Nothing seemed to have changed. He didn’t seem to be with anyone. He didn’t change. More importantly, things between us seemed relatively the same.Β
Fast-forward to March 29, 2012. Finally landed home. Who was the first person I got to see as soon as I got home? Jacob. He came over, laid in bed with me and we laughed about everything we did 9 months ago. Second person? Jacob. A trend seems to be forming… Needless to say, I saw him a lot. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way.Β
As of now… I’m back at Abu Dhabi, he’s back in Maryland. But I know when I go back home, nothing will have changed and I’ll have him to go back to, just like i did a week ago.Β
Long distance relationships work if you want them to. We wanted it to and it did, it will. It doesn’t take much. You just need to have a little faith, a lot of trust, and some determination.
Ishtar, I love you, immensely. I can’t wait to hold your hand. To give up a part of myself to be a part of something greater. To know I’m not alone and to know I have you to walk alongside with. Just three more months <3
